By Kerwin De Matas
This is something I want to talk about, the time is right I think...
Before going to work on the high seas...there was this little problem I had, which I thought was just not normal...but I don't think it worried me all that much, since I thought no one would pay much attention, my belief was that I kept it under control..
Why was it...to walk on the border lines of squares, or any line for that matter...was just hard work...
How hard was it...to just close the water tap... not easy... I used to turn it on, and off...until eventually I got into the habit of counting, as a means of just leaving it alone...
Closing a door, and trying very hard to not resist the urge of turning around again, and again to make sure it was really closed, (I lost that fight lots of times before...)
The knot in my chest, with all of these episodes I endured in the past, was incredibly strong.
These were just a few, but they were all very uncomfortable moments.
Just the thought of going to a doctor to find out what was wrong with me was just out of the question...no money, and to besides, where I grew up, people don't go to the doctor for these things...how absurd!
This was the mentality.
Anyway, the long and short of it is, back then there was not a name for this thing in my mind.
My time in the Trinidad and Tobago Cadet Force was done and gone.... I got into the food and beverage industry....then onto the ships. This condition, I thought, was gone...
Many years went by, until I got married, and then divorced, only to realize afterwards that some of the symptoms of what used to happen to me began appearing again. Not severe as before, but it was happening again on a smaller scale...still did not see a doctor.
Then yesterday I saw a program called "Taboo" on cable. For me, this program only shows the type of people we live amongst...even scares me a bit sometimes.
Very well, on this episode, it showed this guy that suffered from an illness called OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder), and let me tell you, I thought I was going to be sick, because what I saw happening to him, is what happened to me...his problem was extremely severe though.
OCD...so that is what it is called. My symptoms are not frequent as before though, but after watching this program, I googled this condition, and have come to the conclusion that I should see a doctor now, because when I thought it was gone, it's because this thing is still with me! Also, I just want to confirm whether or not I really have OCD.
Do I do things that people can notice as weird? I don't think I am ashamed of this thing, but my way of doing things will just have to be carefully monitored from now on...by me.
Until now, my biggest issue from this condition are odd numbers, I detest them! They really don't sit well with me at all...
Well...I will say I feel much better now that I have gotten this off my chest. For people that suffer from OCD, I will say that I understand them, and that people should not condemn, or judge them, it is a very unnerving problem.
Just a little something to think about readers...my cent from two cents, chao!
This is something I want to talk about, the time is right I think...
Before going to work on the high seas...there was this little problem I had, which I thought was just not normal...but I don't think it worried me all that much, since I thought no one would pay much attention, my belief was that I kept it under control..
Why was it...to walk on the border lines of squares, or any line for that matter...was just hard work...
How hard was it...to just close the water tap... not easy... I used to turn it on, and off...until eventually I got into the habit of counting, as a means of just leaving it alone...
Closing a door, and trying very hard to not resist the urge of turning around again, and again to make sure it was really closed, (I lost that fight lots of times before...)
The knot in my chest, with all of these episodes I endured in the past, was incredibly strong.
These were just a few, but they were all very uncomfortable moments.
Just the thought of going to a doctor to find out what was wrong with me was just out of the question...no money, and to besides, where I grew up, people don't go to the doctor for these things...how absurd!
This was the mentality.
Anyway, the long and short of it is, back then there was not a name for this thing in my mind.
My time in the Trinidad and Tobago Cadet Force was done and gone.... I got into the food and beverage industry....then onto the ships. This condition, I thought, was gone...
Many years went by, until I got married, and then divorced, only to realize afterwards that some of the symptoms of what used to happen to me began appearing again. Not severe as before, but it was happening again on a smaller scale...still did not see a doctor.
Then yesterday I saw a program called "Taboo" on cable. For me, this program only shows the type of people we live amongst...even scares me a bit sometimes.
Very well, on this episode, it showed this guy that suffered from an illness called OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder), and let me tell you, I thought I was going to be sick, because what I saw happening to him, is what happened to me...his problem was extremely severe though.
OCD...so that is what it is called. My symptoms are not frequent as before though, but after watching this program, I googled this condition, and have come to the conclusion that I should see a doctor now, because when I thought it was gone, it's because this thing is still with me! Also, I just want to confirm whether or not I really have OCD.
Do I do things that people can notice as weird? I don't think I am ashamed of this thing, but my way of doing things will just have to be carefully monitored from now on...by me.
Until now, my biggest issue from this condition are odd numbers, I detest them! They really don't sit well with me at all...
Well...I will say I feel much better now that I have gotten this off my chest. For people that suffer from OCD, I will say that I understand them, and that people should not condemn, or judge them, it is a very unnerving problem.
Just a little something to think about readers...my cent from two cents, chao!
