By Kerwin De Matas
What is pain…?
If someone can honestly answer that question for me, then I guess I would be satisfied. But then again, maybe I do not want to be satisfied, but just help on understanding what is really taking place on my island. God, I believe in you, but not with the religious fervor that most people exercise towards you, I guess I do feel pain when I have to read day by day all the murders taking place, while along with it goes the loss of basic morals and respect for our fellow man, woman and child. We are a society like any other where development on a daily scale is frequently being recognized and measured on an international level, but lord, there is a serious disease on my island that needs to be cured. In Trinidad, my people are hurting and suffering from all the traumas past and present. Remember, it is only recently that we are beginning to take physical and emotional abuse towards kids seriously. It is not right when domestic violence is considered common, and of course, a lot of work still needs to be done when we see a kid murdered by overzealous parents, stepparents, or guardians on what they think is discipline. I am not going to speak for anyone else now but myself.
Pain for me is something that is always born from something else.
Pain is born when we remember going through life trying to enjoy it like it should be enjoyed, but instead, we would always have to defend ourselves from blows for not placing in the first four during the school term examinations, or for getting dirt on the school uniform, or for eating mom’s favorite sweet…. It hurts to remember that the people that we trusted to protect and love us were the ones doing the most damage towards us.
Pain is born from frustration when we try to show ourselves as loving to people whom we think would care, instead they would just humiliate us, degrade us, showing us that we do not count for nothing and on top of that, try to send us as far away as possible from them… thanks mom.
Pain is born from hurt when one tries to mingle with society, only to find out that it is not easy at all to relax like everyone else and have a good time. In the end, that person feels like an outcast, finding it impossible to put the pain behind and look forward to the future.
I feel though that the biggest pain of all is when a son or a daughter, never heard an “I love you” from their parents…. It comes to a point where love is not known, therefore giving way to hate, dishonesty, lies…just telling people what they want to hear, because by now, that person becomes an expert on knowing what pleases society, and how to get just what is needed from that society which wasn’t there to help them when they needed it.
Sad is the word to describe the lives that some people lived while growing up. The urge afterwards to inflict pain on other people, whether it be physical, verbal, or emotional, is present where ever or whatever that person might be doing; it’s an animal inside that feels forever present.
This might sound psychotic, but I do not think that it is, because then the mental stability of certain people would have to be discussed and that would have to be done in another opportunity. Like I was saying though, eventually some of those lost and distressed souls would find out just what love truly is, and would go on to learn how to give it back in return. I refuse to accept that my island is full of psychopaths let loose. Instead, I believe that there are many young people with so much anger and pain in their hearts, from this domino effect where generations of families would accept this dysfunctional state as a norm in their lives, finding anything to vent all the built up anger in ways never acceptable. When needed, counseling was never provided, what else could society expect?
Robbery: inflicting pain and hurt by depriving victims of their personal belongings;
Kidnapping: inflicting pain and hurt in return for something;
Domestic violence: inflicting pain and hurt on family members who in turn would just suffer in constant shock;
Murder: the extreme infliction of pain and hurt for personal or impersonal reasons.
Lord, for an island which is so small, with so much promise of a powerful economic future, what is that worth if we cannot cure our people of all this pain born from all, which we had to endure? It does not mean anything at all if most of us will not be around to enjoy all that is supposedly being prepared for the famous 20/20 plan that the Government is touting for us citizens. Statistics are showing us that we are killing each other on a ratio of two persons per day, per month.
This is what pain can do.
There are the lucky folks who never had it tough in their lives, or the ones who lived the rough life but were strong enough to march on but with the pain ever present, or the ones who managed to come up with the money to pay psychologists or psychiatrists to help them cope with their pain and hurt. These same people would therefore go on ranting and raving about the animals in Trinbagonian society causing mishap to the other law-abiding citizens. The crimes committed on my isle in such a defiant manner are inexcusable and to be dealt with. Urgency needs consideration though in enlightening everyone living in Trinidad that we have a very grave problem stemming from years of neglect!
This unfortunate sickness is present, and we need to take care of it before it grows into an epidemic. Sitting idly by, hoping that it would just go away would be naïve. We need a cure, most of our nation does not have an idea of what love is, which is simply tragic. Most of our people need to understand what love is, that is where we need to start….bless.
