By Kerwin De Matas
Well, I am here after a long absence due to projects long overdue, and that needed to be attended. My post today is one that I guess is out of the ordinary, and not concentrated on social commentary.
Most of us fail to recognize the fact that when bad things things happen to us, we seem to forget that the good things usually follow, I guess one would call that ungrateful. My eyes were opened to something so beautiful during my vacations; the experience was so moving, that most might say I'm exaggerating a bit.
I have gone through most of my life feeling like a victim because of the type of life my siblings and I led living with my mother, but you know what? For some reason or the other I just cannot explain, I feel like I am still blessed to the fullest and that people can forgive and be forgiven! If I just leave all those histories behind and use the experience to be stronger and wiser, then being a drama queen would be out of the question, right?
During my vacations, my little son of one year and I travelled to Trinidad to visit his family there. Let me tell you, travelling with a kid so young is a full time job, but I felt so proud first of all that his mother would trust me to take on a responsability that is so important to both of us, and also that this responsability showed me that my blessings are definitely limitless! What was so beautiful one might ask? Well for starters my son is still a baby, but when I saw or felt the trust that emanated from this toddler, it was just enough for me to sit down for a bit while we were in the waiting salon at the airport and think. The thoughts that I had that day were simply tremendous, I realized that I loved this little boy more than anything I loved in this life, what ever my problems were during my childhood, that's exactly what they were, mines, not his....
As for my other son in Trinidad, he is really special, and most times it hurts a lot when I think of the time I lost with him, but if there is still some sort of good in me, then I will do what must be done as a father to make up for times lost.
How many times have I sat down and griped about bad luck, how nothing good happens to me, my job, my relationship with my wife and the list goes on..... So then why am I going backward and not forward? Me, that's right, I have no one to blame but myself..... If I have to move forward and make something of myself, then I have to start with me, only then would I be able to give what's good to everyone else.
Now I am not just saying this just to add another post to my blog, but to realize that I have a lot to give thanks for, I am not a practicing catholic anymore, or any religion as a matter of fact, but I still believe strongly in God and I think I see everyday where each and everyone of us, no matter who we are or what walk of life we take, demonstrating some special quality that shows us that God really is in our heart and that his love is so great that it allows us to do everything that we take for granted....getting up in the morning, breathing, crying, ability to feel emotions.... all these things that most of us accept as purely simple is in fact supposed to be sophisticated, but yet we were created to go about doing these things as easily as possible, so then why do we choose to make our lives difficult?
Very well, I am not here to preach, I just wanted to share this experience I had while travelling with my son, and I feel so much better for that and I wanted to say thanks that I could have taken this time with my son, and that I could have opened my eyes a little bit more realizing that improvements in my life could be made. So I will end my post by saying thank you God, thank you Javier, thank you Matthew.
